Dear me,

I’m writing this from the last days of a decade. And I don’t quite know what to do with that.

Something is shifting. I can feel it in the way I think about things now. What I want. What I’m willing to put up with. What actually matters when I’m honest with myself. It’s not dramatic. It’s quieter than that. But it’s real.

My body is different too. Not worse. Just different. Like it’s asking me to pay attention in a new way. To slow down a little. To stop pretending I can run on nothing and feel fine about it.

I think I’m becoming someone I actually like. That sounds like a small thing but I don’t think it is.

I hope you remember what this felt like. Standing right here, between who you were and who you’re becoming. It’s a little uncomfortable. It’s also kind of extraordinary if you let yourself see it that way.

I hope you kept going in the direction you were heading. I hope you didn’t talk yourself out of the things that were starting to matter.

And I hope you were kind to the person writing this. She was doing her best with what she had. She was figuring it out in real time, which is the only way anyone ever does it.

You made it to the other side of something. That’s worth something.

With love from the version of you that was right in the middle of it.

Written on the last days of a decade, when everything was just beginning to change.